Valleys
For reasons that I cannot yet condense into words that mean anything, I find myself again in one of the many valleys of life. I don't want to be here and if I could just climb out, it would be wonderful, but I can't and so I again find myself being supported and dragged out of danger by my loving shepherd, my Lord Jesus. I am so thankful for His hand on me! But here's what's weird and possibly bordering on sinful: I'm embarrassed that I need His help so often! Is it just that I'm created to need Him? Or am I some sort of human aberration that is too needy? Why am I not able to stand without Him for a little while longer before He has to come and rescue me again? It's not that I've sinned this time. No, this time I really am an honest victim of a circumstance outside of my control. But why do these circumstances seem to touch me so often? I am not like Job. My valleys are nowhere near so deep as his. But there just seem to be so many of them! It's hard to do when you're stuck in that valley, but while I am still at the head of this one, I will praise Him for these many valleys and rejoice that He has counted me worthy to suffer and to be disciplined. I will claim the joy He has promised me and maybe tomorrow, I will stand on a mountaintop!
posted by Priscilla49 @ 7:05 AM
2 Comments:
At 9:30 AM,
Priscilla49 said…
Yes, I am a member of HCC but I have chosen anonomity for many, many reasons. I am still afraid to step outside that bubble. Pray that I will have the courage to allow other brothers and sisters to see the truly struggling woman that I am instead of walking around like somebody who's confident and sure of herself!
At 6:57 AM,
Priscilla49 said…
THANK YOU, Sister! You have spoken my heart! Yes, there are little sins that I find in myself all the time! And maybe that's why I feel like I'm in the valley -- because I keep finding these things and I get so frustrated and tired of the constant battle! I just want it to be easy, but that's not what Jesus promised if we follow Him. I guess that, even as a long-time believer, I am still amazed that the most difficult struggles are still inside of ME. I also kick myself on a regular basis because I try to "fix" it all by myself instead of laying it at the foot of the cross as we are instructed to do. Whenever I realize that I've been trying to do it alone again, I feel like such a horse's petuttie!
Thank you so much for your prayers! There are some pride/self-love issues that I am working on and as soon as I finish this post, I'm going to stop trying to do it all in me and hand it over to Jesus. What helps me do that, though, is knowing that my reaction to being hurt is not unique and letting the little hurts go is just as important at letting go of the big ones.
God bless you, Sister!
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