Blues

Today, I woke up in a "blue funk" that I couldn't seem to shake. I was on the verge of tears for no discernible reason and it clung to me like greasy kitchen dirt on a range hood -- until I sat down with my second cup of tea and my Bible.

I started reading, and I have to admit that it seemed like a chore, at first. I was so depressed and blue that I didn't really feel like opening the book, but I did it because that's what I do every day and it's a routine and a habit. Honestly, I wasn't really focusing and I really struggled to bring the words into my conscious mind. I couldn't seem to push past the huge 'To Do' list that I'd created for myself or the overwhelming sense of frustration I felt at knowing that I wouldn't be able to accomplish it all today. What, with church taking up half the day and having to play taxi this afternoon, I couldn't see how everything was going to work. Then I stopped. I closed my Bible and prayed, "Father, you have brought me to Your word again, but I'm not seeing it. I'm not getting past my frustration and my sadness. You know my heart, Lord. Help me! I beg you, Father, to open Your word to my mind this morning. In the name of Jesus, I come to You this day, amen." And then I began again. This time, the words flew off the page and I couldn't absorb enough, fast enough! What joy I felt in the clarity of His message and my ability to sweep all the junk to the side to really feed on His word! The bigger surprise was that when I looked at the clock and realized I had to dress for church, I was eager to go! Where earlier, it'd seemed such a chore, now I knew I needed to be there. Then, walking out of church, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. What a blessing to be in the company of my brothers and sisters!

No, I won't get through all the things on my 'To Do' list today, but now I know that it's not important. I'll get some things done, but the rest will wait -- and none of it matters as much as that time I had this morning with my Lord! Accomplishing even everything on the list and having time to put my feet up with a glass of iced tea would not bring even a miniscule portion of the joy that I felt at having my depression yanked away and peace filling me as I read His word.

And so today, I pray for those who are hurting for all sorts of reasons, for those who are sad for cause and for those who just have the blues. May God remind me every day of the week that my purpose here on earth is to serve Him and to worship Him, and not to worry about some list of things that will eventually get done, or to cry because I don't seem to be able to accomplish what I want or to worry because other people don't think the same way I do about all sorts of things. I pray that He will keep me a true witness to His power and glory and love. He is in control of the sun's rising and the wind's blowing, so I'm sure He's not wringing His hands over the things I'll let slide until tomorrow -- as long as I focus on Him today.